Pastors who Cheat on Their Wives: Dr. Betty Price Pens Book Titled "Warning To Ministers, Their Wives and Mistresses" (Video)

This leaves the question of how can these so called men and women of God lead and teach anyone anything when their lives are full of deciet and lies. God help them and us.

Destiny Brown

I am a minister's wife of 32 years and my husband left me for another woman...younger and with less education than me. I was in disbelief he would do this not only to me, but to God and our ministry. I worry about what will happen to him now. His own brother (a minister) and my brother (a minister) left their wives and families for other women.

God is our Judge, may he have mercy!

Elaine

I am a minister's wife of 32 years and my husband left me for another woman...younger and with less education than me. I was in disbelief he would do this not only to me, but to God and our ministry. I worry about what will happen to him now. His own brother (a minister) and my brother (a minister) left their wives and families for other women.

God is our Judge, may he have mercy!

Elaine

Hi,

I would like to share with you a good ebook that's free to help pastors and their wives with discouragement and burnout. You can find it at: http://www.stoppastorburnout.com . It's quite helpful.

If you have pastor friends or even their wives, we are currently inviting pastors and pastor wives to join charter membership club for free for 2 months,you might want to share this with them. You may visit http://www.susandavidlifecoach.com/index.php/sponsors for more information.

We would also like to invite you to view our video on this topic at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miF-R0bCz0A.

Feel free to share this with your friends or people you care for.

Also I would like to connect with you through;
Facebook

http://www.facebook.com/susandavidlifecoach

Twitter

http://twitter.com/susanmdavid

Thanks,

Susan David

as a pastor's daughter, you see and hear a lot of things in and outside of the church that aren't right. This is why we who are saved must pray for all of our spiritual leaders, because the enemy attacks them more so because of their leadership position. Let us not forget that all have sin and come short...there is none righteous no not one. So be very careful what you say about the man/woman of God [touch not my annointed and do my prophet no harm. Judge ye not for ye shall be judge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RR_oYd3qfM

Good Morning,

I never knew there were so many people out there hurting like me or experiencing this in the church!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been married for 16 years. Initially, we were not Christians, but were baptized together with my oldest daughter. My husband
is in the military, and eventually became an Elder in the church. Whenever he would preach, I would sing prior to him bringing the Word. We were very deeply involved in the church, especially with the youth.

I noticed him getting a bit distant, and then really realized it when we were in church one day and asked him if he was going up for prayer with me. His response, “I don’t have to go up and pray with you all the time!” Things had already been going downhill no thanks to his selfishness, greed, and feeding his mother and other members of his family and friends untruths about me in order to make himself shine.

We had relocated after a transfer, and he would complain about giving me money for anything…beds for the children school supplies, my vehicle needed some work, and so I went into debt again. He even stated after I had approached him about us living like room mates that “if it wasn’t for my money situation, I would not be here.” Mind you we always take some type of vacation. Last year he said that we could not because he didn’t have any money…he didn’t even buy my son clothes for school last year.
Around the time the affair came to light, he did not know that I was aware, and without letting him know what I knew, I asked him to just let me go…he didn’t agree right away, but then got bold and was like whatever, let’s just get a divorce.

He would always put me down and discourage me with phrases such as “Look at me, there are lots of women out there who would want me.” “You, you have three children, and no man would want to get with someone who has three kids…I’m a hot commodity.” “Do you know what women out there would do for the security and benefits that you have?” “You need to get on your job.”
I was always ashamed and embarrassed to talk with anyone, and he knew this, so he was counting on me doing the same. The kicker is that he would still get up in the pulpit and preach as though nothing were wrong for two years. I would try to talk to him and ask “How come we can’t live what you preach?” He would either get angry and say nothing, or tell me to live it if I wanted to. The church members who loved us so dearly had no idea that after we left the church, the show was over and he wouldn’t speak to me if he didn’t have to.

After finding out about the affair, I was absolutely DEVASTATED!!! Not only because this was the first or second time that my trust had been betrayed, but because we were supposed to be Christians!!! Initally when I found out, I already knew I would have to catch him with his hand in the cookie jar. However, we had agreed not to talk to each other and that I should only call him if there is an emergency with the kids. I decided to drive to the state he was in to catch him, but then he called not knowing what I knew and said he wanted to work this out. I did confront him when I arrived. Of course he did not admit to the affair at first, and then thought I was going to sleep with him that night!! He finally admitted to the affair the next day. The devastating parts of this nightmare was that this woman knew everything about me, where I lived, would make comments to him about when she drove by what she saw, and that he had sex with this woman without any protection…in all ways possible...

After we tried to work it out, she would text him to ask him how his day went, etc., and that’s when I asked him to give up her e-mail. He gave the wrong one at first, but then gave the correct one. I was very brief and cordial, lady-like in asking her not to make contact with my husband. She replied in such a manner as to make fun of me telling me that I should have been on my job and copied him also stating to him “Is this what you were talking about?” Obviously he had frontloaded her but told me he did not, but admitted it later. She even knew my medical history and made fun of me in her e-mail response, just saying demeaning things. I should have seen it then, but he did not protect me at all, and I should have known this was not going to work out. He promised he had told this woman off, not to call him or he would get a restraining order on her, etc., all the stuff he thought I would want to hear. It seemed so perfect until….I found out he had still been talking to her the entire time just deleting the calls from his phone.
He travels a great deal with his job, and uses this forum to conduct his secret rendevous as well as the internet. Even after he told me that we would have no vacation last year, he took this woman and her kids to Disney in Florida while he should have been “working”. He sent the kids things from toys r us via e-mail, and even took her to meet his best friend who was in our wedding and who owns strip clubs, etc. Not only that, he took her to Las Vegas for almost a week, and I am the one who took him and picked him up from the airport.

I knew I had to catch him with his hand in the cookie jar. So When I found our 4 months later after his professing to leave that life alone, and after he said that "Oh, I've taken Holy Communion," that he was supposed to be going out of town to one state, but got some intel on how he was landing into where she was at and planned to take and long drive to where he was supposed to be for his job, I drove down so that I would arrive before the plane landed and took pictures. I called as I was watching him, and called again while he was eating. I asked where he was eating and he said our favorite restaurant. Little did he know that I was waiting outside the restaurant and when they both came out I thought I would die!!!

I went back to where I know they were going, her house, but they made a pitstop at her sister’s house and this is when I knocked on the door and his hand was caught in the cookie jar. He was shocked out of his mind and was begging me to listen to him that it was nothing and then had the nerve to invite me in so we could all sit down and talk!! Of course I told him he was crazy and that I was done.

He even took us with him on a road trip as he went to visit his offices, and complained about the traveling when he didn’t mind traveling for the…..(Help me Jesus!)

Anyways, I am tired and I don’t see true evience of true change and committment not only to me, but more importantly to God. I believe he is grieving the Holy Spirit and God has released him to himself. If he cannot serve and obey God out of love, I don’t think he will ever be able to love me.

Right now, we are still living together, and he constantly says that he has changed, but I have my intel staff and I have information that proves otherwise in big ways. I am truly living with a person who displays the characteristics of narcissistic behavior and it is taxing on my spirituality and self-esteem. I have never been able to tell him how I really feel and let my anger out. He expects me to be over this already...(it's only been just at 6 months!)

I cry to myself all the time, and my prayer life is a struggle, but I still hold on because I truly believe God has a plan for me. I continue to work with the kids in church because they keep me going. I just worry about all those lives we touched, he taught, and how this would devestate them and our children…should I continue to be humble and suffer in silence because of what it will do to them?? I am do not want to continue on in this depressed state because it has affected things that I used to do, and more importantly how I interact with my own children.

I want to seek help as a couple and for myself, but I have no money, and he doesn't think it's important... (According to him I need him financially...) I need to dialogue with someone...HELP!!

Tee

TEE... GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD ... HE CAN BE TOUCHED BY THE FEELINGS OF OUR INFIRMATIES... YOU DON'T KNOW I WANT TO BURST OPEN JUST TO EXPRESS TO YOU THAT THIS SEASON WILL PASS.. AS MARVIN SAPP'S SONG GOES NEVER WOULD HAVE MADE IT? TEE ... I HAD A SISTER WE CALLED HER TEDDIE.. SHE DIED LAST NOVEMBER ANOINTED PREACHER OF THE GOSPEL 51 YEARS OLD COMPLICATIONS OF GASTIC BYPASS SHE LOST 91 POUNDS BUT SHE ORIGINAL WEIGHED CLOSE TO 390LBS. IT WAS NOT WHAT SHE WAS EATING IT WAS WHAT WAS EATING HER...SHE HEADED A WOMEN'S MINISTRY SHE COUNSELED WOMEN PRAYED AND LABORED TO THE GLORY OF GOD WITH THEM AND BEHIND HER BACK THEY WERE SLEEPING WITH HER HUSBAND. ONE IN PARTICULAR 5 YEARS OLDER THAN HER DAUGHTER WAS ALLOWED TO SPEND THE NIGHT AND GO ROLLER SKATING AND MOVIES WITH HER DAUGHTHER SHE BECAME THE GIRLS MOTHER IN THE LORD. SHE EVEN HELP THE GIRL FINANCIAL FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE. WELL THIS GIRL MUST HAVE GOTTEN PREGNANT BY HER HUSBAND 9 YEARS AGO NO OFFICIAL REPORT.. BECAUSE MY SISTER WOULD NEVER SPEAK A NEGATIVE WORD AGAINST HER HUSBAND. GOD ELEVATED MY SISTER TO PASTOR AND MY SISTER ELEVATED HER HUSBAND.. SHE MADE HIM THE PASTOR AND SHE BECAME CO-PASTOR SHE WAS TOTALLY SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND. HE COULDNT WAIT TO BURY HER AFTER BEING WITH HER 36 YEARS. HE WAS JUST WITH HER.. AND HE WAS REALLY LOVING SOMBODY ELSE. WHEN IT WAS TIME TO PRAY HE SAID IT DIDN'T TAKE ALL THAT. GOD WASN'T IN ALL THAT A MAN OF GOD MUST GET BEFORE GOD AND SPEND TIME BEFORE HE CAN MINISTER TO GOD'S PEOPLE. HER HUSBAND WAS IS A SELFISH NATURAL MAN NOT SPIRITUAL IF A MAN DOESN'T LOVE GOD HE HAS NO CLUE ON HOW TO REALLY LOVE YOU. ALL YOU WILL BE EXPERIENCING IS THE LUST AND SOONER OR LATER RUST GETS ON THE LUST..JESUS CAME THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY.....LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY... SO I SAY TO YOU TODAY MY SISTER
LIVE...... DAMSEL ARISE...... AND LIVE.. GOD KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR YOU..... GET YOUR PRAISE ON... SMOKY NORFUL... I STILL GOT TO SAY THANK YOU.. ITS NOI SHAME TO WEEP..WEEPING MAY ENDURE FOR A NIGHT BUT JOY COMES IN THE MORNING... GIVE THAT MAN BACK TO GOD AND LET GOD DO HIS WORK!
THE ANOINTING FLOWING THROUGH YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOWE THATS RIGHT RIGHT NOW CAN MOVE ANY MOUNTAIN....ASK SEEK KNOCK... GOD IS READY TO OPEN THE DOORS.. THE KINGDOM OF GOD SUFFERS VIOLENCE. BUT THE VIOLENT TAKE IT BY FORCE... GO TO WAR SOLDIER .... WITH PRAYER PRONOUNCE SOME JOY IN YOUR OWN LIFE...GOD GRANT PEACE IN THE MIDST OF THIS STORM... LORD YOU SAID IN MY WEAKNESS YOU WOULD BE MY STRENGHT... SO I KNOW GOD...THE WEAK SHOULD BE SAYING RIGHT NOW "I AM STRONG" TEE YOU ARE BLESSED GOING IN AND COMING OUT... GOD HAS TO BREAK THE VESSEL AND MAKE IT AGAIN.. IT HIS JOB TO DO....BUT YOU GO AHEAD AND WALK ON BY FAITH EACH DAY..... WE ALL HAVE OUR CROSSES TO BARE..MY BROTHER IN LAW DENOUNCED US AS FAMILY FROM THE TIME OF THE FUNERAL HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH US WE COULDN'T COMFORT HIM... BECAUSE HE HAD ULTIMATE MOTIVES WE LATER FOUND OUT 30 DAYS AFTER MY SISTER DEATH HE FILED A WRONGFUL DEATH LAWSUIT THAT HE DOEN'T WANT US TO BE A PART OF AND HIS DAUGHTER FOUND LIFE INSURANCE PAPERS OF HIS WERE HE IS NAMING THE YOUNG GIRL SOLE BENEFICIARY OF HIS LIFE INSURANCE.. NOW HE HAS A 23 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO WAS RAISED BY HIM BUT ALIENATED BY HIM

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GIVE MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY YET BUT YOU KNOW ONE THING.. DON'T BE A STATTISTIC....... GOD HAS ALREADY GIVEN YOU THE VICTORY!!! PRAISE YOUR WAY THROUGH ...DON'T LOOK AT THE WATER....PRAISE HIM ....DON'T LOOK AT THE FIRE.....PRAISE HIM....... LIVE AND NOT DIE....
I WILL NOT TRUST THE SWEETEST FRAME.. BUT TRUST ONLY IN JESUS NAME...BECAUSE GOD IS FAITHFUL HE WON'T FORSAKE YOU! YOU ARE BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED WHOM THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED..

GET READY GET READY .......

TEE... GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD ... HE CAN BE TOUCHED BY THE FEELINGS OF OUR INFIRMATIES... YOU DON'T KNOW I WANT TO BURST OPEN JUST TO EXPRESS TO YOU THAT THIS SEASON WILL PASS.. AS MARVIN SAPP'S SONG GOES NEVER WOULD HAVE MADE IT? TEE ... I HAD A SISTER WE CALLED HER TEDDIE.. SHE DIED LAST NOVEMBER ANOINTED PREACHER OF THE GOSPEL 51 YEARS OLD COMPLICATIONS OF GASTIC BYPASS SHE LOST 91 POUNDS BUT SHE ORIGINAL WEIGHED CLOSE TO 390LBS. IT WAS NOT WHAT SHE WAS EATING IT WAS WHAT WAS EATING HER...SHE HEADED A WOMEN'S MINISTRY SHE COUNSELED WOMEN PRAYED AND LABORED TO THE GLORY OF GOD WITH THEM AND BEHIND HER BACK THEY WERE SLEEPING WITH HER HUSBAND. ONE IN PARTICULAR 5 YEARS OLDER THAN HER DAUGHTER WAS ALLOWED TO SPEND THE NIGHT AND GO ROLLER SKATING AND MOVIES WITH HER DAUGHTHER SHE BECAME THE GIRLS MOTHER IN THE LORD. SHE EVEN HELP THE GIRL FINANCIAL FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE. WELL THIS GIRL MUST HAVE GOTTEN PREGNANT BY HER HUSBAND 9 YEARS AGO NO OFFICIAL REPORT.. BECAUSE MY SISTER WOULD NEVER SPEAK A NEGATIVE WORD AGAINST HER HUSBAND. GOD ELEVATED MY SISTER TO PASTOR AND MY SISTER ELEVATED HER HUSBAND.. SHE MADE HIM THE PASTOR AND SHE BECAME CO-PASTOR SHE WAS TOTALLY SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND. HE COULDNT WAIT TO BURY HER AFTER BEING WITH HER 36 YEARS. HE WAS JUST WITH HER.. AND HE WAS REALLY LOVING SOMBODY ELSE. WHEN IT WAS TIME TO PRAY HE SAID IT DIDN'T TAKE ALL THAT. GOD WASN'T IN ALL THAT A MAN OF GOD MUST GET BEFORE GOD AND SPEND TIME BEFORE HE CAN MINISTER TO GOD'S PEOPLE. HER HUSBAND WAS IS A SELFISH NATURAL MAN NOT SPIRITUAL IF A MAN DOESN'T LOVE GOD HE HAS NO CLUE ON HOW TO REALLY LOVE YOU. ALL YOU WILL BE EXPERIENCING IS THE LUST AND SOONER OR LATER RUST GETS ON THE LUST..JESUS CAME THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY.....LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY... SO I SAY TO YOU TODAY MY SISTER
LIVE...... DAMSEL ARISE...... AND LIVE.. GOD KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR YOU..... GET YOUR PRAISE ON... SMOKY NORFUL... I STILL GOT TO SAY THANK YOU.. ITS NOI SHAME TO WEEP..WEEPING MAY ENDURE FOR A NIGHT BUT JOY COMES IN THE MORNING... GIVE THAT MAN BACK TO GOD AND LET GOD DO HIS WORK!
THE ANOINTING FLOWING THROUGH YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOWE THATS RIGHT RIGHT NOW CAN MOVE ANY MOUNTAIN....ASK SEEK KNOCK... GOD IS READY TO OPEN THE DOORS.. THE KINGDOM OF GOD SUFFERS VIOLENCE. BUT THE VIOLENT TAKE IT BY FORCE... GO TO WAR SOLDIER .... WITH PRAYER PRONOUNCE SOME JOY IN YOUR OWN LIFE...GOD GRANT PEACE IN THE MIDST OF THIS STORM... LORD YOU SAID IN MY WEAKNESS YOU WOULD BE MY STRENGHT... SO I KNOW GOD...THE WEAK SHOULD BE SAYING RIGHT NOW "I AM STRONG" TEE YOU ARE BLESSED GOING IN AND COMING OUT... GOD HAS TO BREAK THE VESSEL AND MAKE IT AGAIN.. IT HIS JOB TO DO....BUT YOU GO AHEAD AND WALK ON BY FAITH EACH DAY..... WE ALL HAVE OUR CROSSES TO BARE..MY BROTHER IN LAW DENOUNCED US AS FAMILY FROM THE TIME OF THE FUNERAL HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH US WE COULDN'T COMFORT HIM... BECAUSE HE HAD ULTIMATE MOTIVES WE LATER FOUND OUT 30 DAYS AFTER MY SISTER DEATH HE FILED A WRONGFUL DEATH LAWSUIT THAT HE DOEN'T WANT US TO BE A PART OF AND HIS DAUGHTER FOUND LIFE INSURANCE PAPERS OF HIS WERE HE IS NAMING THE YOUNG GIRL SOLE BENEFICIARY OF HIS LIFE INSURANCE.. NOW HE HAS A 23 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO WAS RAISED BY HIM BUT ALIENATED BY HIM

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GIVE MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY YET BUT YOU KNOW ONE THING.. DON'T BE A STATTISTIC....... GOD HAS ALREADY GIVEN YOU THE VICTORY!!! PRAISE YOUR WAY THROUGH ...DON'T LOOK AT THE WATER....PRAISE HIM ....DON'T LOOK AT THE FIRE.....PRAISE HIM....... LIVE AND NOT DIE....
I WILL NOT TRUST THE SWEETEST FRAME.. BUT TRUST ONLY IN JESUS NAME...BECAUSE GOD IS FAITHFUL HE WON'T FORSAKE YOU! YOU ARE BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED WHOM THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED..

GET READY GET READY .......

First off, I want to salute you for your boldness and willingness to reach out for help and to transparently share the depth of your pain. It's brave of you to consider first the needs of your church family and your children because that is the true heart of God and the true heart of a leader; to esteem others more highly than yourself. However, I would like to submit that God encourages us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves and not more than we love ourselves. I think to really acknowledge your value is to set limits at what you will and won't tolerate. Whatever we tolerate will continue. This doesn’t mean that you communicate your intolerance inappropriately, but Holy Spirit can enlighten us in this process. Your own self respect however can mirror your expectations in your relationship.

As for the church, Paul encourages us to follow him as he follows Christ. In this last day, it is imperative that the Believers’ spiritual plight is not incumbent upon the actions of our leaders because they are subject to error. The mature Christian would cover you and him in prayer recognizing that the enemy wants to sift you as wheat. Babes are usually more susceptible to poor leadership, and they must be covered and certainly protected. It’s a delicate subject because embarrassment and shame usually come with the territory when talking about infidelity. I implore you to defeat those emotions with the truth that his infidelity is not your fault, and God is going to hold him accountable for his actions, not you. On the flip side it is admirable that you still want to protect his character, and in so doing, God will preserve yours. Real discerning people know the truth. People who are willing to believe lies want to; but trust, they know the real deal. You don’t have to get into this game of defending yourself. God will do that, and will appoint others to do so. That’s not your concern. That’s God’s.

The hurt, the rejection and the mental abuse that you have endured as a wife, mother and more importantly, as a woman of God has been excruciatingly difficult and only God was able to bring you to this point with your mental faculties in tact and a heart that still yearns for holiness, righteousness, and a heartfelt relationship with Him. It is evident that you value the marriage covenant that you exchanged before God, and the Father honors that. You however are not responsible for the decisions that your husband has made or continues to make. You deserve to be lavished with love and fussed over because that’s how God pursues you. Your contribution in your relationship can not be limited to finances or dollar signs, but the epitome of who you are values at a much greater price. In the day to day demands of life, what you do as a wife and mother, would cause any man to come home and hand over that paycheck without a problem. When we are wrong and we don’t want to be responsible, it’s easy to shift the blame on our partner and hold them responsible for our errors. Truth be told, separation and or divorce would be a financial strain on your husband in and within itself. You have to know that you deserve to be treated every bit as good as he was treating his mistress and then some because you are his wife.

What is done in the dark will be brought to the light and my prayer is that the enemy will not try to cause his darkness to contaminate your light. It's obvious that he has already done so by leaving you uncovered not just because of the infidelity, but the mental deceptions to make you feel like his reason for his perversion is your fault, that you are not sexy and desirable as a woman, that your children are extra baggage that would dissuade other men from really wanting you and that your integrity and morale is lacking; thereby making you look like the bad guy regardless of what he does. These are all forms of manipulation and control that cause him to justify his actions to himself and thereby silently imprisoning you to view yourself in a negative light. If your children made you so unattractive, then why is he himself dealing with a woman who has children? He apparently accepted her and her children based on whatever he wanted or desired in this individual and another man would be able to see how beautiful you are as well. Not even focusing on you in pursuit of another mate- you are attractive performing your motherly duties because a real woman will prioritize her children over the need to be affirmed by a man. So many women fall prey to treating their children like dirt because they are trying to keep a man! Continue to minister to your children. I do acknowledge that the marriage covenant supersedes all other earthly covenants. However, not at the expense of your seed. You have to know that you are attractive, both inwardly and outwardly and it’s important to let yourself feel good about your personhood and all that this entails. In the movie, Why Did I Get Married, the character played by Jill Scott had a husband who berated who she was, but her second husband valued her and saw a totally different person.

I am compelled to believe that your loyalty to your husband is not based on who he is, but because of your unconditional love for him. That in itself is commendable because true Agape love is not based on the actions of the other party, but based upon our decision to love them unconditionally. In this process however, if the implied messages of worthlessness and devaluing are constantly received on your end, so much of your character gets swept away and it's hard to remember who you really are anymore. This is satan's ploy to degrade your being and cause you to self destruct. It becomes a self fulfilled prophecy because your value is now based upon his acceptance or non acceptance of you.

I submit to you that what can increase your level of attractiveness is allowing the love, acceptance and affirmation of the Holy Spirit to supersede any rejection that you may endure or have endured from him. I believe it's important that you give yourself an opportunity to grieve and heal the losses that you have encountered. You owe it to yourself. You sacrificed time, thought life, agony, stress, anxiety, missed opportunities for you and your children, mental and emotional abuse, lies deception, etc. from the enemy via your husband and whomever else he involved. Without time of refreshing and rejuvenation in His presence, how can you go on or even decide what your next move is?

I have seen God move in all kinds of situations. I have seen where a woman's husband left her for 13 years and she waited and believed God and he returned, and their relationship blossomed. Could I do that or would I want to do that? Can't say that I would, but that worked for her and the Kingdom benefited from her sacrifice. I have seen broken relationships where similar to you, the pain of infidelity and deception tore them apart and caused men and women to remarry, and they had success in their latter relationships. I think the important thing is to give yourself the opportunity to make that decision and acknowledge that it's yours to make; not to make it only so that everyone else is pleased because a happy fulfilled complete Tee is going to create happiness for herself and her family. Sacrifice has its place, but you can’t live your life trying to please everyone else. This will cause you to wilt and lose motivation and tenacity.

I don't know your teaching on divorce at your ministry, but the Bible is clear upon when divorce is a considerable option. By that same token, love covers a multitude of faults. I am submitting an unbiased regard to what you decide concerning your marriage. I don't believe it's healthy to instruct a woman to stay in or leave their relationship. What is healthy however, is for you to build yourself up and start remembering the beautiful woman that God called you to be and to recognize that His love, grace and mercy was and is available to you apart from any other relationship in your life. And even as we are pulled as women, we owe it ourselves to pour into ourselves because how can we effectively cater to everyone else in our lives without partaking of the same treatment for ourselves.

I can relate to you on so many levels. My husband and I separated for a season, and our challenges were not centered around infidelity. I had to find the courage to love myself and listen to people who spoke life to me and saw the God in me despite what the circumstances looked like. They were able to impart godly wisdom about areas that I could improve upon, but encouraged that I allow him to be responsible for his contribution because if I try to cover up his mess, the same cycle would be repetitive. We had several issues, which we are still working through. We had to take responsibility for our own stuff, and our mutual decisions to make change in our thought life and in our decision making contributed to our reunification and restored love and fellowship. In my heart, I was willing to leave him in order to be whole within myself and stand for a righteous standard. Fidelity is something that happens within the heart, so I believe it hurts just as much to know in your heart that your husband loves or desires someone else as much as the very act itself. Only God can restore this and help you overcome this level of hurt and dejection.

My prayer is that the God of our salvation would breathe life and encouragement into your spirit; that every area of deadness and dryness would be revived and that the lies of the enemy will be washed in the pureness of His love for you. As far as your haters are concerned, your greatest weapon against them is success, so as they enjoy your time of struggle and heart ache, rest assured they will be present to see God exalt you; and they most certainly will reap what they sew. It is unfortunate that the Jezebel spirit is so prevalent in the House of God, but women like you and myself can stay humble and ask the Father to enable us to be models of what godly womanhood is all about. We're not perfect; just broken, yielded and loyal to the cause of Christ. Be encouraged. Know that Jesus is your present help in the time of trouble, and furthermore, that He has not forsaken you. As you allow the confidence and the wholeness of God to inundate your spirit, your husband and everyone else will recognize the true essence of your beauty and character. Before anyone else does, you must recognize it first.

I have a few resources I would like to recommend: the movies Fireproof, starring Kirk Cameron, Why Did I get Married and the Diary of a Mad Black Woman, directed by Tyler Perry, and the book, Beside Every Good Man, by Serita Ann Jakes. My heart is so full for you and I certainly will be praying for you Tee. I could go on and on, but I feel led to convene for now. I expect to hear a turn around in your testimony and I truly believe that God is gonna make your enemies your footstool as your ways continue to please Him. God bless you and love you!

Jasper

I am very confused right now and I had no idea there was an actual link discussing pastors who cheat when I googled it... I thought it would be a long shot. I am too scared and embarrased to talk to anyone I know so here's my story. Please don't judge me, I am looking for advice and prayer to either get out of this situation or correct it somehow.

I am 26 years old, attended my church since the age of three and confessed to do God's will at the age of 13. I've seen many pastors come and go. My church receieved a new pastor and he was a young pastor with vision and being in a church with few young adults I was very happy to see someone who could reach my generation. Well I thought he was attractive but because of his position and my services in the church I never stepped up and said anything to him and nor did he say anything to me.

I was in a relationship and so was he at the time. He became engaged two months prior to me becoming engaged. My finance and I went through counseling with him and everything basically was what it was. My finace's job moved him over 1000 miles away from me and problems started to fester. I am supposed to relocate next month and have pushed this move back for two months for various reasons.

Neither of us (me nor the pastor) are married as of yet. Now up until recently everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be between myself and the pastor. After a young adult outting that neither my fiance nor his fiance attended. Things got out of hand and we cheated on our significant others.

I know that I have a good heart and I have never cheated on my fiance before. But now I am so distraught because I have 1. done wrong and know better 2. question do I really love my fiance because of the stupid decision I made 3. find myself actually falling for the pastor 4. continuously seeing him and not wanting to stop 5. don't know how to remedy the situation.

The crazy part is that we all know each other and I find it so hard to look at her in her face without wanting to just cry and tell her what I've done or break down and tell my fiance that I messed up.

The pastor and myself have tried to have reasonable talks to just let this fling go! We actually weighed the effect of us getting together for good and it would tear the congregation apart! The church is going in the right direction and I don't want to be the cause of its regretion!

I ponder how can I have him marry us? How can I explain to my fiance (if I actually go through with the wedding) that I want to change the officiant? How can I sing in the chior with his fiance and have her over to my place and act as if nothing is going on?

Please help...

Write a letter
Consultative exam
On the record decision

First off, I want to salute you for your honesty and transparency about your error. It took a lot of guts and its obvious that you are reaching out for help, so I hope that my comments bring enlightenment, insight, encouragement and self reflection. We as Christians need an outlet to reveal our errors and downfalls.

It’s important to really weigh your motives. Relational attractions don’t usually spring up without there having been some attraction beforehand. It’s very important to be self aware in these instances, and beforehand, be particular about situations you subject yourself to with any male- particularly spiritual leaders or men in authoritative roles. Looking in retrospect, consider ways of exercising greater levels of discretion and walking circumspectly before the Father. To entertain further contact with your pastor in this manner nullifies and dulls the voice of the Holy Spirit in you beckoning you to cease contact and to remember both of your commitments. Not only that, but it dulls the hearing of your pastor for the people of God when its time for Him to share the unadulterated Word. It contaminates the flow of the anointing on so many levels. It’s easy to throw out answers and solutions for your next steps. A few suggestions that can help are as follows, however temper your specific responses with prayer and sincerely seeking the face of God. Focus on re-establishing your relationship with God. If your prayer life was solid, reinitiate the posture of prayer. Ask God to deliver you from a spirit of lust because once you stepped out of your commitment to your fiancé, you opened yourself up to demonic strongholds. I am assuming that you were practicing abstinence until marriage with him, which is a sensitive time in preparation for marriage development anyway, but pray that God will deliver you completely, and expose whatever strongholds need to be uprooted in you. I would suggest identifying another church where you can fellowship for a season to purge your spirit because you are treading on dangerous grounds, and if you don’t want to be driven by your desire for this man, do like Joseph, RUN! Another aspect to uncover is to identify and destroy any strongholds from your past. Look at the relational patterns of the men and women in your family, and annihilate if need be any generational curses that must to be destroyed. At this point, you must be willing to sacrifice everything. To allow your fiancé to marry you blindly without knowing your interest in your pastor would be unfair. You have to seek God about how to share and what to share because if he is immature and operating out of hurt, he may intentionally share that information with congregants that can mess up the fold. If a relationship with either man is for you, this is definitely not the timing because you need to get yourself together. Starting any marriage like this could lead to destruction because if you can’t control your members (mentally, emotionally, physically, socially) now and don’t develop self control, the enemy will have a field day with you. Chance losing both of them. Whatever weaknesses your pastor is dealing with, you removing yourself will enable him to focus more on himself and God as well. Are you sure you’re the only one that he is interested in other than his fiancée? You very well maybe, but because of the close nature with which pastors work with women in church, there’s opportunity to abuse this closeness and have several relationships with different women. Has this been a problem for him in the past? Maybe in this current relationship? There are a lot of unknowns. The biggest thing to realize is that nothing just happens and if you be totally honest with yourself, you can threshold an event before it happens. Your flesh wanted it and you allowed yourself to succumb. Begin to walk in the spirit that you don’t fulfill the lust of the flesh. (Romans 8) Your error was significant but definitely rectifiable so get out before things get worse and materialize into a nightmare. You were absolutely right. You do not want to be the downfall of a ministry that you have grown to love all of your life. Neither do you want to be the downfall of a man in ministry. At least you will have your dignity and respect? If either man is right for you, make sure you bring your members under the Holy Spirit’s control via the Word of God, and wait on the timing of God. Don’t desire for the pastor’s situation to be fruitless. True repentance to God, to your fiancée, to your pastor’s fiancée and to your pastor is to make the decision to turn around and come completely out. Don’t play with your destiny or anyone else’s any longer. Lastly, don’t fear rejection. Truthfully, your actions have already demonstrated rejection so everyone may reject you at this juncture. Maturity says that you can suck it up and take it while demonstrating love and repentance; while praying for their healing from heart break. That’s the initial penalty for your wrongdoing. They may never forgive you. As you walk in righteousness, God’s grace and mercy will cover you and bring restoration. (Rom. 1:9, Rom. 8:1-2)

I also feel led to emphasize the importance of not minimizing your error because you and your pastor are not married yet. The thing about covenant is that once engaged, using your words to announce commitment to someone and the both of you consenting is like drafting a legal document. Its important that your yah is yah and your nay is nay. Better the matter be corrected now, but in principle, you’re setting precedents for the rest of your life, so if you exercise honesty in this situation, you give yourself the privilege of resuming your stance as a chaste, holy, woman of God.

You said you have a good heart. What’s in your heart is going to be demonstrated outwardly. Jeremiah says that the heart is desperately wicked so don’t let your heart play tricks on you. Allow God’s Word to purify your heart, and allow your corresponding actions to coincide with the goodness that God deposits within you.

Be encouraged! You’re still in good company! David fell and repented. He still had the heart of God as a worshipper. Though he paid dearly, His covenant with God stayed in tact.

Jasper

Thank you Jasper... Since my posting I have called off my engagment but I have not gone to another church. I have removed myself from any previously uncomfortable situations since the incident. I am still heavily envolved in the ministies within my church. I will not allow my mistakes to keep me from doing what I was called to do in the first place. Like I said before I've seen many pastors come and go but I have been around for over 23 years and when his time is up I still want to be there if God sees fit for me to do his works at my church. I have been in a state of focusing on getting myself and my heart right. The heart can undoubtedly be deceitful and I just came to the realization last night that God has taught me better so I should do better. It is up to me to stop allowing others to use me and until I figure it out for myself and actually act on it, it will continue to happen and drain me in the process. It's taking some work but knowing that I have done something that was quite selfish to begin with and trying to rectify the situation is of one of my main concerns and priorities. Please continue to pray for me.

ISRAEL TO COMMENT FROM ANONYMOUS. I READ YOUR POST DATE OCTOBER 29, 2009 9:53. I READ YOUR POSTING ON THIS DATE. AND THE LATEST POSTING IN DEC 2,2009. I AM GLAD YOU HVE MADE DECISIONS CONCERNING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IN THE CHURCH. OF COURSE YOU HAVE MY LOVE AND MY PRAYERS. I CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU AND I ENCOURAGE YOU TO BE STRONG AND STEADFAST. YOU ARE WISER THAN YOU KNOW AND STRONGER THAN YOU THINK. THE BODY OF CHRIST LOES YOU AND I DO TOO. YOU ARE A GOOD THING SO THEN THE WORD SAYS WHEN A MAN FINDS A WIE HE FINDS A GOOD THING. YOU ARE IN GOOD HANDS WITH THE FATHER.WE LOVE YOU. WE STAND WITH YOU. MY SISTER. HOLLER!!ISRAEL.

To Anonymous and all my sisters. As a man I am very sorrowful and sensitive and aware of the hurt, pain, and emotional upheavals one may have being in relationships. I feel your pain as best I can. I hurt when you share how you all have been rejected, used, abused, cheated on, not loved, cast aside, and other words. My heart hurts when i hear. I am praying for you all.Such things ought not be allow to exist in the church but then the church is a reflection sometime of the people who comes in from the world and it systems. I love you all. God is good and He can be trusted. Be wise my sisters. I really want you all to stand strong. forgive and be free. I need you to survive. I need you. In His name, Jesus. This is Israel. Holler. God bless.

My formal Pastor left his wife for his pregnant mistress. They have since married and are ministering. They say they've repented, but it seems to be the going trend nowadays. A Pastor dumps his wife for another woman then continues in ministry and I'm wondering how to handle this. I do pray for them daily, but really...should they be in ministry? By they way I've heard they repented, but they've never contacted us and said they did.

I have been married for many, many years. My husband has cheated on me numerous times. He has left me three times including this time. He has frequented prostitutes and many other discretions I would rather not mention.

When I found out about these instances of adultery and mischief, he was always sorry, with tears as the topping on the apology. We would pray together, read the Bible together. He would tell me that I shouldn't think about leaving because God hates divorce and Love covers a multitude of sin. (My husband has said numerous times that he has been called to preach and has operated in that capacity from time to time)

Well, to make a long story short... recently, my husband and I (for about three months) didn't really have much to say to one another. He would belittle me with the Bible yet say that he was trying to help me because I wouldn't allow God to use him to tell me that I was a bad person. Emotional and Spiritual abuse is what I have suffered. Finally he decides that he is going to leave me with the children. He didn't think twice about it. He left with the money, the car...

He tells me that he has a counselor. Well, his counselor apparently told him to leave the children and myself. I just find it odd that all of those years of putting up with him, and even up until a few months ago he was at work being a preacher and flirting with women on the job. Something, of course, he wouldn't dare think was okay for me to do with other men.

I find it odd that he thinks that it is okay for him to leave the family. And then tell me that he needs to concentrate on himself and focus on his happiness. I should have been the one who left all of those years.

What is going on with these men and women (who are not of God) who say that they love God and do the things that they are doing? The Bible clearly outlines that a repented person will walk in the fruit of repentance. THey will exhibit fruits of repentance, period!

It is not a matter of judging someone. God says that we know them by their fruit. We can discern between good and evil. As Christians we are supposed to live our lives in accordance to that Word and nothing more.

When we ignore what people are doing we make the rest of the good apples in the bunch rotten to the core as well.

This message and ministry regarding the gospel of grace. It is sickening to me. Grace is not about your ability to sin and be forgiven, but rather your hate for sin and your turning away from.

My husband has told me numerous times that he is not perfect and he won't be judged because all of his sins have been forgiven when he confessed already. So, he can do what he wants to do because anything else outside of that is called religion.

The gospel of Grace has led people to believe that they can do what they want. That God is a God that allows whatever because we are not perfect. There are rules in your house. Rules for your car. Rules for your clothes. Rules for the dining table. Rules at work. Rules at the gym. Rules for driving. Yet, when it comes to God we say, "Oh, I am not perfect and God has already forgiven me."

Based off of my living with someone who has adopted this gospel message, the problem is simple. These people don't want to change and turn away from their wicked ways. They want to accept Christ and still do what they want, when they want. Dangerous! Also, there are people who once lived for God whole heartedly. Fell into sin, not necessarily sexual sins, but sin nonetheless, and when they were presented with this easy-peasy gospel, they gladly accepted it because they would rather accept the idea that they can serve a God and sin as opposed to serving a God and being free from the bondage of sin.

Simply put... LOOK AT THEIR FRUIT!!! What is on the tree?

JUST SO SAD TO HEAR BORN AGAIN CHRISTIANS STILL GIVE IN TO THE DEVIL AND HIS WORKS.SO SAD.. THANKS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK SISTER PRICE AND BRINGING THIS DELIVISH INSIGHT TO WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO ATTENDS CHURCH ETC...SOME PEOLE LIKE TO PUT PASTORS ON THE THRONE....AND PLEASE SOME DEACONS HAVE A NASTY FETISH ALSO..MY GIRL FRIEND WAS MARRIED TO A PASTOR OF THIS LOCAL CHURCH FOR 18 YRS. THEY HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS AND JUST LAST YEAR HE LEFT HIS WIFE & FAMILY & MINISTRY FOR A 28 YEAR OLD HALF WHITE/ HALF BLACK WOMEN. I HEARD THAT HE DOES NOT PREACH ANY MORE AND HIS WIFE LEFT THE CHURCH HE WAS PASTORING IN JAN 2010. SHE MOVED BACK TO CHI TOWN WITH HER FAMILY..SO SAD! AND THE WOMEN HE LEFT WITH SHE LEFT HIM TO DO ADULT MOVIES ETC...I WAS JUST SHOCK! SO SAD! JESUS HAVE MERCY ON US ALL. MY FRIEND IS IN COUNSELING NOW..PLEASE KEEP HER IN YOUR PRAYERS NAME O.T. AND CHILDREN ARE V.T. AND T.T.

THANKS,TRICIA

JUST SO SAD TO HEAR BORN AGAIN CHRISTIANS STILL GIVE IN TO THE DEVIL AND HIS WORKS.SO SAD.. THANKS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK SISTER PRICE AND BRINGING THIS DELIVISH INSIGHT TO WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO ATTENDS CHURCH ETC...SOME PEOLE LIKE TO PUT PASTORS ON THE THRONE....AND PLEASE SOME DEACONS HAVE A NASTY FETISH ALSO..MY GIRL FRIEND WAS MARRIED TO A PASTOR OF THIS LOCAL CHURCH FOR 18 YRS. THEY HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS AND JUST LAST YEAR HE LEFT HIS WIFE & FAMILY & MINISTRY FOR A 28 YEAR OLD HALF WHITE/ HALF BLACK WOMEN. I HEARD THAT HE DOES NOT PREACH ANY MORE AND HIS WIFE LEFT THE CHURCH HE WAS PASTORING IN JAN 2010. SHE MOVED BACK TO CHI TOWN WITH HER FAMILY..SO SAD! AND THE WOMEN HE LEFT WITH SHE LEFT HIM TO DO ADULT MOVIES ETC...I WAS JUST SHOCK! SO SAD! JESUS HAVE MERCY ON US ALL. MY FRIEND IS IN COUNSELING NOW..PLEASE KEEP HER IN YOUR PRAYERS NAME O.T. AND CHILDREN ARE V.T. AND T.T.

THANKS,TRICIA

JUST SO SAD TO HEAR BORN AGAIN CHRISTIANS STILL GIVE IN TO THE DEVIL AND HIS WORKS.SO SAD.. THANKS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK SISTER PRICE AND BRINGING THIS DELIVISH INSIGHT TO WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO ATTENDS CHURCH ETC...SOME PEOLE LIKE TO PUT PASTORS ON THE THRONE....AND PLEASE SOME DEACONS HAVE A NASTY FETISH ALSO..MY GIRL FRIEND WAS MARRIED TO A PASTOR OF THIS LOCAL CHURCH FOR 18 YRS. THEY HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS AND JUST LAST YEAR HE LEFT HIS WIFE & FAMILY & MINISTRY FOR A 28 YEAR OLD HALF WHITE/ HALF BLACK WOMEN. I HEARD THAT HE DOES NOT PREACH ANY MORE AND HIS WIFE LEFT THE CHURCH HE WAS PASTORING IN JAN 2010. SHE MOVED BACK TO CHI TOWN WITH HER FAMILY..SO SAD! AND THE WOMEN HE LEFT WITH SHE LEFT HIM TO DO ADULT MOVIES ETC...I WAS JUST SHOCK! SO SAD! JESUS HAVE MERCY ON US ALL. MY FRIEND IS IN COUNSELING NOW..PLEASE KEEP HER IN YOUR PRAYERS NAME O.T. AND CHILDREN ARE V.T. AND T.T.

THANKS,TRICIA

Hi, I was married to a pastor for ten years and he had an affair with a woman who is also a pastor. They had an affair for a few years unbeknownst to me. Then when he finally left the marriage for her, he attempted to cast all kinds of blame on me, even falsely accused me of adultery just to cover his own adultery. He did this in hopes of maintaining his ministry and perhapst ministering with his mistress. Our divorce finally came through this past September 2010 but prior to that, they were both still preaching in the church, carrying on in a lie and still placing blame on me. Even now, when our divorce is final and they are becoming more public with their relationship, they have managed to stain my character to such a degree beyond earthly repair. I fail to understand how these so-called ministers of God can do this to people. He actually left our two children too. I think our church, or christians at large have become TOO soft on sin in our quest to become soft on the sinner. Yes, God loves the sinner, but HE hates the sin. These ministers should be immediately stripped from their positions, publicly repent etc. My ex-husband has still not repented, instead he and his mistress, now girlfried are still inflicting all kinds of emotional, psychological, spiritual abuse upon my family and I. They are hiding who they are to the majority primarily because they both live in another province. They are still allowed to preach in church and carry on as though they've committed no sin! I could write a book on my story. My fervent prayer is that our churches stand up more against these acts, instead of succumbing to the fear of legal action. It is not the commandments of the land they are breaking but the commandments of God and when we uphold the commandments of God, God will stand with us!

If I could only tell what I presently have endured. My pastor is cheating on his wife, my old pastor cheated with me, and the story goes. Is there a church where the pastor really loves his wife as christ loves the church?? I have almost given up on church but certainly not God. I have been involoved in sexual activity with a pastor before who lied denied and made me feel ashamed. I cant stand it. I am no longer involved but I am sure dealing with the pain, embarrassment and emotional damage because of it. He has since moved on, married another young lady who was a memeber of that church. I just want to scream GOD PLEASE HELP!!!! I want to reach out to others who have or currently in such a situation. But I first need healing, and to overcome it all

Iam not sure what Bible everyone is reading.God gave instructions on all matters.As usual,people use his words to get what they want.Ask God for wisdom.Love covers a mul of sin not lust.Forgiveness also has been mistaught.He never instructed anybody to take abuse,suffering is for his sake.

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