Making friends can be hard because of one's lack of social skills, because our society is generally making us more isolated, because of our modern busy lifestyles, or because we no longer have a context for meeting people like we did in college or high school.
There is no single cause that makes this crucial skill hard for us--it's actually a group of causes. In this article, we're going to tackle the main reasons you may find it hard to make friends, and how to overcome them so you can get the happy social life you want.
You think that everyone else is already in a closed group of friends
Did you know that the lonelier the person is, the more they tend to only notice extroverted people who have a great time with friends? Somehow the mind gets blind to all others who are maybe even more lonely; it's just a mental illusion.
At the same time, most friendships are superficial. People can hang out with others just to avoid being alone. Everyone is craving for more close and loyal friends, so don't be fooled by appearances.
You learned that friends can be disappointing
If you got hurt by friends in the past, you might think that friendship is risky. What you may have missed is that these scars are lessons. They are new tricks under your belt. Bad friendship experiences are signals and new skills that allow you to filter people better.
You get to become more safe as you gather friendship experience, and you'll to see the warning signs before you get disappointed. It's a wealth of knowledge that you shouldn't throw away--you can learn from them.
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SOURCE: Atlanta Black Star